Aug 6, 2012

I'm not lacking



I've learned a few things in the last few years. Especially since I carried my sweet Weston in my belly. One of those is that well meaning people's words can crush you. For years I've let these statements go, but maybe if your reading this you would think twice about asking these questions from now on. I know I'm not alone in these feelings.

Maybe you think your the only one who has asked that mother of all boys when she's going to have a girl, or if she's sad she doesn't have a daughter, but I promise you that you're not.

All throughout my pregnancy I would smile politely when I would hear those things each and every day, multiple times a day and at times I found myself feeling inadequate. These words, these innocent jokes have caused incredible wounds in me and inside I just wanted to shelter my unborn baby from ever feeling he wasn't good enough.

This blog is often where I express to my boys that they are, and that they were wanted and celebrated the same way I would for each of my children regardless of their gender.


These are lives, not objects to dress up

It breaks my heart and angers me at times the way that baby boys aren't celebrated because there aren't more shoe options. They aren't as fun.

Tears fill my eyes when I think of how sweet my children are and what gifts they are to me.

This is what God chose for me, and He knows what gifts to give me. I pray that the Lord blesses us with a daughter one day, for different reasons than I feel most people would pray for one. But when I have my hands full of healthy babies, who are perfect and beautiful and alive, I don't feel as though I'm lacking. And while my world may be lacking in pink things, my heart and my happiness are not.


16 comments:

  1. Exactly! :) I obviously can relate to this. Your boys are blessed to have you and I can't wait to see how and when the Lord grows your family!

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  2. Couldn't agree more! As a mummy of a little boy who is currently expecting (and expecting a surprise!) I am so sick of hearing "Wouldn't it be lovely if you had a girl?" Well yes, it would, but no more lovely than being blessed with a boy. I don't feel that I need a girl for my family to be complete like some people seem to think. And I'm sure that it's not just me being sensitive to the boy thing, but I'm sure families with lots of girls don't this is quite the same way. I am proud everyday that I am a "boy mumma" and I will be equally happy with the baby that we bring home from hospital, whatever the flavour!!! X

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  3. I totally agree with you. I had no expectations with anything, and was just grateful my pregnancies went well, and that I have happy and healthy little children!

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  4. As a mom of 3 boys, I SOOO get this. : )

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  5. I could not agree with you more! And while we are thrilled to know that Baby #4 is a little girl, we weren't "trying" for a girl. We are so in love with our boys and feel so blessed to have them.

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  6. When I was pregnant with my son people would ask all the time if I wanted a girl and wouldn't it be more fun to dress up a girl as opposed to a boy. It always made me sad and irritated too.

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  7. I was horrified when I was pregnant with my son and people would ask "oh, too bad it's not a girl! Now he won't have any cute clothes." After what felt like the hundredth time, I said "Is that some form of 'thank god you're having a healthy, beautiful baby boy -- congratulations?" They shut up and then I started saying it all of the time. I'm not ever confrontational in the least, so it felt good. My baby boy is my everything.

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  8. This is such a true post, but I have it other way around. I have a 1 year old girl and 2 months along with our second. My husband is the only one to carry on the family name with a boy. Which He is praying for.Everyone wants and is expecting a boy.
    When I found out I was carrying a girl the first time round, I was very nervous and scared. Because of my horrible relationship with my mom, I could only imagine the mess ups I can make and didn't want to even raise a daughter. But the Lord Stilled me and especially in the months before getting pregnant again the Lord spoke to me about what a gift daughters is.
    So one way or the other. Maybe its boys for u.But for me its girls. I think the gender God gives us, is because He knows best for us. I really hope the Lord gives my husband a boy, but I have made my peace that both is a gift.
    Karen Snyman

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  9. Some people really just don't think before they speak. I have a relative with 5 boys. five! Their last child was their "last attempt" at getting a girl. They of course love their children, but I know it's hard on her hearing the "jokes" and comments about never having a girl. On the flipside I have another friend who was blessed with one of each and is pregnant again - before she found out the gender she told be she'd be pretty upset if it wasn't a girl {thank goodness it is, for the kid's sake!} Anyways, you're clearly blessed with your little men even if not everyone can see it!

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  10. I have 3 boys, and could not be more happier. I get asked all the time if I want a girl. I simly say "no,I could not handle a girl"!!! Personally for me, I LOVE being a mom to boys, I was an only child, and finally got a sister when I was 17, and had my first boy at 19. I could not handle raising a daughter. If I had one, it would obviously be different, but since I have boys, for me it is so much rewarding!!! I am definently blessed with them!!!

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  11. Boys are a blessing! I adore my little nephews, and I would love having boys. I think girls and boys are equally precious and wonderful. My husband has an uncle and aunt who had 6 girls while they were trying to have a boy--and people said the same things to them. Your boys are definitely a gift from God! :)

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  12. I totally get where you're coming from. As a mum of three boys, I hear this all the time. I ran into a lady I used to know with my third boy (now ten weeks old) and she looked mortified that I had another boy. Even asked me if Im upset about it. The look on her face was like she was eating lemons. I love my boys and they were sent to me for a reason. There was not one ounce of disappointment when I was told I was having another sweet little guy xx

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  13. I had a girl and then 2 boys but that didn't stop any of them. They still gave their opinions. I just didn't listen. New follower here from Southern Bloggers. Julie @ http://icreatepurtythangs.blogspot.com.

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  14. I have one boy and as soon as I got pregnant everyone always ask me if I was sad it was a boy... OF COURSE NOT! I told everyone as long as my baby is healthy and happy it did not matter to me if it was a boy or girl. I love my little boy and thinking about a second child down the road I would love to have another boy, but I will be so happy with whatever God feels fit to bless my family with.

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  15. Awww. I can't believe people would ask that or suggest anything negative about having boys. I've got a daughter and love all the girl perks of it, but would love to have a boy, if it's God's will sometime soon. Enjoy those fellows and kudos for you for speaking your mind.

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  16. I love this post. I think people just simply don't think. Period. It's like continually asking a couple when they are going to have kids at all. What if they have been trying for years and can't have kids, you know? And, yes, it is all in God's hands. He knows exactly what we need and when we need it. Good for you for posting this.

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