We are two weeks into the book, "parenting the strong willed child". After reading the book I came to the realization that maybe Kingston isn't as strong willed/defiant as I thought or at least not as bad as the examples in the book which was encouraging to me. I think this book has a lot of good things for any child at least two years old because at some point you will have to practice some discipline but the focus is more on praising the good behavior so you don't have to discipline as often.
Kids want attention and they will do whatever it takes to get it even if it is negative. The book gives examples on how to speak to your child and encourage them which gives them a desire to want good attention.
When we try to fix each problem area at once it can be overwhelming on your child and as a parent you end up feeling like a constant nag using the word "no" countless times a day. Instead, we've been focusing on one issue at a time and by doing this all the other issues are getting better and we haven't even started working on them yet.
Here are a few examples of our issues with Kingston..
- not sharing toys with Weston
- interrupting conversations between Ben and I
- yelling in the car
- coming to the table for dinner...for some reason this is a huge battle
- eating his dinner
- going to nursery at church
- Hitting the dog
- jumping on the furniture
The last two times we've gone to church he has gone to the nursery with no problems and had a blast! He now comes to the dinner table as soon as he's asked and even says the blessing. He's also been sharing toys with Weston so much better and he's become really polite saying "please" and "thank you" and "may I be excused". When it's time to leave a friends house or a park it's much easier to reason with him now. I think using the tools in this book with Kingston has helped him to feel more understood and that his feelings are heard and appreciated. I cant always give him what he wants because lets face it, 2 year olds can be unreasonable at times but I've been trying to let him know that I understand. It's what he needed.
I'm glad we've made some progress. Becoming a mom has really opened my eyes and caused me to be a more open minded person. Especially after having Weston. I thought I would have things figured out the second time around but my boys are completely different so I have to parent them both differently. I'm happy to read books and get advice from other moms because I'm learning as I go and I'm not going to pretend I have this thing figured out. Besides, as soon as I figure it out they go and change on me.